The Story continues..after the short Hiatus....

March 23^rd 2010

Today was definitely more calm, relaxing too even if I did a little bit of running around.

Waking up this morning was strange…had a funny dream…I rebuked it mehn!! I slither off my bed and pray and worship for a bit after which I brush my mouth that felt like a vacuum-packed- load of rotten cheese!

Feeling like I had a mint factory in my mouth after three rounds of scrubbing with copious amounts of toothpaste! I step back into my well…bedroom/living room area and settle to try and type my first day of schools entry but as usual between yahoo messenger and YouTube…(ok YouTube was the main culprit today…I confess..) I sha write sha…then my friend Marcus shows up on his usual Tuesday visits and has a good nap as he had worked overnight.

After many hours on my computer ok…typing and YouTube at the same time…what! I remember all I still have to do…bank etc… so I go to bath and Marcus and I head for the bank as he was my translator!

Getting to BNP Paribas...the bank that is…we meet the lady at customer care I think… who bluntly told me her English was limited and I should go slowly! Then I explained myself to her in both my poor French and English that I want to open my bank account..Marcus purposely kept quiet because he wanted me to at least try…good point but bad timing I thought!!! but fortunately the manage I think, a lady shows up like 5 mins later and asks me into her office…all this time I had been stylishly scoping the bank and was thinking the following

1.       “ehen na so bank fit clean?!!!

2.       Na so manger go just they kiss my foot for Zenith bank for Nigeria say I wan open poor student account…?

3.       Why them bank no big sef…o kere ju!

So by the time we were in her office all the thoughts zapped and business discussion began. She mercifully spoke some efficient level of English but still needed French back up when the English started to make her spin….what was Marcus there for?! So after much discussion she takes down my details and my account is opened instanta!!

After the bank we walk to somewhere called Placed’ Italie where on the way I see a shop that sold CROCS that I could have bought for school and where so much more cheaply than the hight street one I got!! Hmm win some abi? *sigh*

At Place d‘Italie Marcus takes a train to see some other people before he goes to work..then I first decide to go to the Virgin store to return my phone but I change my mind and opt for KFC out of a will to be indulgent and the fact I was bored and didn’t really have anything to do.

On my seemingly endless queue at KFC..the only thing that kept me patient was the satisfaction that only came from crispy batter and juices that flowed freely from the poultry it covered…eventually my indulgence is satisfied…on my way out I notice a woman was eating some chicken..the back part to be precise and she chewed off the flash and was piling the bones that still had some juicy crispy batter on them like they were the next set of iron bars that would build a new floor on the Eiffel tower!!! I was burnt in my spirit! All that juice goes to waste! Oyibo!

After my KFC runs..I head home but settle to finish my food at a fountain…I had to do something un-Nigerian abi..but when one kain breeze started blowing…I carried myself and came back home.

Between Facebook and yahoo…I'm busy on my computer but still very mindful of tomorrow…which is my first demonstration and practical

Now business begins…

So I'm going to bed already awake for 6:00am tomorrow…

Bon huit

March 24, 2010

Somewhere in the best part of my sleep… a repulsive and energetic wave distorts it…

My BB alarm…gosh! Without considering whether I would make it early to school or not… I dismiss the alarm! Not even snoozing it! And try to return to my version of wonderland…halfway there I envisaged the following

1.       Me opening my eyes and find out its 8.00am

2.       Me getting to school at 9:30am

3.       Me getting an absentee mark on my first day

I didn’t wait to imagine the whahala people like my mother and aunty Toyin and these days my dad would have given me!

So before that thought could even play…higher than the Eiffel I rise up!

Its 6:30am….so I do some worshipping  and pray. Brush my teeth, bath and set out all my stuffs and checked a few things of my lappie…

At 7:45 or so I make it out of the house…since I felt I was early I didn’t brisk it as such…I strolled…it was just me and the cold morning wind of the 5^tharronssidment. On my way to the bus stop..it happens again…this time I wasn’t even looking at the Pantheon..when I was the bus making its U-turn to get to the stop…again I was like 150metres away…so yeah..I Bolted again!!!

Anyway I make it to school at 8:10am…and find people where there before me sef! I rush to the tiny locker room for the guys and of course it was mayhem! But I got changed and hooked up with my familiar faces…

At 8:30am the demo began…now we’re are talking…! I know I have been enjoying Paris but now was the business!!!!

Chef Terrier take us…apparently he only takes the Superior level students but the chef that’s supposed to be handling us basic cuisine people is on a cruise! And the other In China! So…he had to take us…

Our lesson to today was the basics of basics…LEARNING HOW TO CHOP… AND MAKING A RUSTIC VEGETABLE SOUP

On my seat….

1.       “gbubs listen in class…no form ova confidence! Say u kno am!”

2.       Omo sleep dey cash me…this A/C whey dem on put sef…haba!”

Against those thoughts I try to concentrate even if the sleep was clawing viciously at my eyes!

I won’t bore you with the details of my lesson but you should get the gist. For chefs you must know how to do some classic styles of chopping examples; Mirepoix Julienne Burnosie and Parsdaynne

The last one was the style we focused on today for our soup.

During the demo..the chef made everything look like child play I mean, he explained all the knives and their uses in the kit, showed us the cuts with different veggie and passed it around and showed us step by step how the soup was prepared. A mixture of carrots, celery and turnip cut into little triangles are first sweated off in butter I thought…”hmmm mo mo gbogbo e ke?”

Then there was this strange Asian girl that was just constantly taking pictures!!!  Every minute the chef turns she has taken a picture and it was becoming soooo annoying!!! Cos she had this stupid look plastered on her face as well!!!!

After the chef is done with his demo, he is applauded so loudly I thought I was in Silver Bird watching a movie with my dear Nigerians! The soup is sent out to everybody to try and gosh was it beautiful!!! With some cheese and croutons! OMG is was delicious! I'm my mind I wanted seconds….ok thirds and fourths…or just keep drinking till I’m full!!! But my shyness was strong and it spoke the following words  “ah! u wan make all dis Oyibo dem, dey look u like say u no get chop for Nigeria….ah! abeg o!!” “na true oh1 make I compose o!!! ah! Abeg o!”

However my decision changed when I saw all the Oyins almost scrambling and helping themselves unapologetically for seconds, thirds and fourths!!!! And I thought to myself”..omo na our school fees ke!!!!”

Filing out like ants through a sand hole we move to the winter garden and chill and there’s a lot of cake from the pastry students and in  my school na free for all..omo what was I thinking putting on weight! Kai this cake was amazing!!! BABA VIEUX RHUM that was the name! my my my!!!! Raspberries, rum and cream on sponge!!! I was in heaven!!!

On realizing my next class which was a demonstration, was another 3 hours away…I opt to do two things

1.       Go home and sleep
2. Go home and sleep

Then I consider/imagine the following

1.       Coming late and losing marks

2.       Over sleeping

3.       Missing the bus

Then I consider one thing….DONT GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!

But after that thought the LAFAYETTE comes to my mind…so I change my mind to go do some pleasurable window shopping to while away time before class.

I had always seen the LAFAYETTE on my way to school each morning and wondered at how such a giant build sat in the horizon so majestically! But never went in, so getting of my bus I hop across to the mall and start to survey. The urge to buy something was strong but even stronger was my will for the following reasons

1.       I have to be prudent

2.       Ok it’s a lie…I don’t wanna be broke!!!!!!!

So I won the battle of the ills that way…

That notwithstanding...it was hard walking through a C&A sale…VERY HARD! I

 Walking through the mall it occurred to me why I didn’t see like my mates there…

Everything was a million Euros plus! There was Ralph Lauren, André and the names sha!omo wont I like to  free this zones…my pepper never land o!

But I spot an Orange shop and ask for yet another lowdown on the IPhone 3GS….yes my eye has been chukking!!!! I sha got my gist from one lady who looked like she was 50 but dressed like she was 26! Kmt!!

Anyway as a student and me being younger than 26 I got a discount sef…so hopefully next month…*smiles* I would be forming unlimited internet from my palms!

After browsing through shops and a mall I realized I really couldn’t afford anything coupled with the fact that 3pm was fast approaching I go back to the bus stop chill for a bit and 15mins later I'm back to school.

Swiftly changing to my full uniform in the cubicle of a changing room I get out and while waiting in the  winter garden to go to class I notice a chef walks up to me and grabs my ID card and says “u r Oritzeboobemi? U r ze kitchen assistant?” with a clam French accent but a confused me replies “No! I'm not the kitchen assistant”  “ok come witz me” he replies. so I follow him and halt at the notice board and he points to my name on the notice board. In my mind

1.       “ahan! We get class rep for here too?!!!

2.       Why na me dey launch dis tin na

3.       Hmmm they said we were going to be kitchen assistants rotationally sha o!

My head nods and I blurt out repeated yeses like a skipping record and I follow him to the prep kitchen which is small kitchen in the basement were all the preparation for all practicals and demos were done. The chef puts us through how to pick out our stuff. A Nigerian me was ready to start carrying the food up the stairs on my way to do so the chef stops me a directs me to a lift/ transporter thingy “no..puts itz ‘ere” and we press one or two buttons…up it goes to our demo room. In my mind

1.       Ehen…Oyibo o!!!!! ah!! LOL!!!

2.       Kai hope say they never laff me say I bush o!

Getting upstairs, we apportion the vegetables for all the ten students…

On arranging my work space I place my chop board out, lay my knives out, and start listening to the chef talk running us through the lesson and so on then I just move my hand to my right and realize it had hit something and my flesh was stinging me! OMG ALREADY!!!!!!!! I NEVA START TO DEY COOK I DON SEY SHED BLOOD! I walk out of the class with my finger in  my mouth..it was quite a deep cut..immediately the chef is out with me and shows me the first aid box places a platter over my hand and puts a plastic wrap on the finger and I'm back to class.

Remember I said after the demo it was  going to be a piece of cake? MEHN WAS I WRONG!!! OMO MY CUTS WERE A DISASTER!!!!! I tried to use “wuru wuru” sef e no work the chef still nabbed me o!!! but he gave me kudos for getting some of it…*sigh*

Point of note! There’s one forward boy in my class! Leonardo… He’s Brazilian. He was forming I can finish first and I have worked in a pro kitchen before! He would be asking question  every time and be asking in one kain humble voice like dis! Mcheww!!! Always forming Ajayi!!!! Ahan! He and one of his co Portuguese babe!!!

Some of my other classmates had their fair of knife cuts including Leonardo! In my mind I laff am sef. And while he was going I started to panic and was trying to keep up and pass him I'm good now ke? Then sternly I heard it…

“the battle is not to the swift”

Ah!!!! Reboske! At that point I smile within and out and just press on…

After 3hours of chopping, stirring and first time mayhem. Our soups are ready. Mine was cloudy because I had allowed my potatoes to overcook! Jeff a Taiwanese guy had vegetables as big as my fist in his soup! When we were supposed to have cut them into tiny triangles!!! LOL!!! At the taste test..the chef deeps his spoon in my soup and my insides are numb and I felt like Gregg Wallace and John Torrode were about to sanction me on Master Chef!!! “hmmm errrr ze pepprie” he said whilst smacking his mouth from my soup trying to locate other errors..”oui chef” I answer “shit! I forgot to put black pepper..so was it good or not I asked…”urr..zr soup is ok…but seasoning ok” he replies with a smile that reassures me I'm a beginner and I have a long way to go!!!!!!

After which Kirsten and I clear up and send the food downstairs and its straight to the lockers a change and I progress towards my bus top after a million “au revoirs” to everyone at school

It’s about 6:00pm I get home. More than my exhaustion I was now starting to feel some level of elation….although a more cogent feeling was my severed finger that was throbbing now…

As I sit back to be comforted by the worldwide web , a passion fruit and raspberry tart and Inspiration Channel, I realized how blessed I was, the need to be humble to learn, submit to every drop of knowledge whether I know it or not…aka be a mumu and soak all I can! No forward actions!!!

Worse it further concreted the fact that I am a local champion back in Lagos..in fact a remote village level of local champion!

It’s also amazing meeting people from so many different countries…Colombia, brazil so on and so forth but however the down side is the fact everybody except me has their cultural clan they hang out with and speak their own language with!! The Asian evidently outnumber all of us for starters so mandarin is law after French and English! Then the Brazilians and Portuguese always seem to move like a herd of gazelles or a colony of bees constantly buzzing in Portuguese! Then you have me..and me…wishing if Tosin Aladese were here with me at least we can at least the little Yoruba (that sounds like Ibo btw )I know or at least pidgin or even Oyinda Ayodeji or even better My Soulie…Aunt Adebayo so we can talk razz talk!!! LOL!!! Now I miss my BB that’s not working at least Viko would definitely keep me company!!!!

The only thing keeping me sane is my dear and faithful GIDILOUNGE! But sadly I can only listen but cant converse!!

******SIGH*******

ALL IN ALL…..I’m living the dream….

Most Thanks to God!!!

Then my family…Grandpa…My dad for constantly calling even if he still tells me about his 1970 something trip… LOL!! he always calls…if you’re out there reading this and celebrating me as well…Thank you….and all of you forming you are proud of me…be saving your millions to come and eat my restaurant…cos I kno the school whey I pay! Na 15 years chef be my teacher!!! Dis wan no bi joke o!!!!

Ok whatever

BON NUIT

MARCH 25^TH 2010

Today my usual repulsion at my necessary alarm was at a bare minimum as I had some legal extra sleeping time. Today was my medical appointment with immigration. It was at 9am.

So eventually at maybe 7:20 I slide grudgingly off my bed, do some praying and start sorting out my dishes I had left overnight and after which I moved to the bathroom.

I had had an eureka moment yesterday night…I figured that from a street at the end of mine there should be a direct bus from there to Bastille where Immigration was. So going through my map like it was my first exam I figure it out and hurry to make it in time to catch a bus.

By 8:10 I was out of the house and Les Goblein bound. On my way to the stop I notice little specks on my jacket…ahan...wetin? I think to myself then with a bit more momentum from above, the sky replies me that it’s getting rid of some excess water. Gosh!! Rain!!!! ARRGGHH!!! WT!!

I sha scramble and jog a bit till I arrive safely at my stop and wait for the bus that was delaying slightly but eventually turned up. My stop was its terminus so I was relaxed a bit and not worried about missing my stop and missing y appointment!

Getting to immigration I notice a pile of scruffy looking people lining up...in my mind

1.       Yeh!!! Na dis people wan do medical too?

2.       Ah!!! Whahala!!! Na so so disease they go get ke!

3.       Kai!!! Perhaps I go collect disease join put sef

So I motion to line up with them cos I assumed that was the medical line but like the security guy was telepathic….through the glass door he motions to me to come in..

“wow!!! Tank u Jesus!!!!!!” ah!!!

I felt like a rescued Haiti victim at that point! Safe away from harm!

Climbing upstairs I noticed a bunch of different nationalities waiting too for their medical test…

“na so we plenty we dey Paris?” I think a bit worriedly to myself. Moving to the desk with the first obese woman I had seen in Paris…it was first comforting then disappointing because I felt she was failing her kind…hmmm

Anyway she briskly and very viciously asks me for my papers and passport all in French! A serious wave of nerves came over all of a sudden! I give her my documents after a small episode of confusion and agitation.

I wait for my turn and sit and notice all the various passports around me…a lot of Americans, Brazilians and others…

When the medical tests began I sat next to this group of not very intelligent American girls…they were going on and on about pregnancy and the medical procedure like it was Hollywood gossip “like Oh My God! Are they really going to do that..that is ssoooo lame..gosh!” pls imagine this with all the American accents you know!!!!!!

When I was called I was somewhat excited because from the time I calculated I should still be able to make school for 12:30pm, even if I had taken permission to be late I didn’t want to be late if I could help it.

At 11:45 or so I'm done (after copious amounts of delicious cheap hot chocolate I kept downing like a car that was on reserve..I told myself I was feeling cold…true though…ok it was cheap!)and I won’t lie I was scared when I was weighed and had my XRAY taken I thought they were going to tell me I was too overweight to be in their country and I had a disease that was only from Africa so they’d have to deport me…LOL!!!

With some stroke of James bond luck I make to school in the nick of time1 like literally 12:30 I get into class and settle down next to Leticia and Kristen and start my demonstration class.

Today we had a funky chef…Chef Claas…he looked very young for his age and I won’t lie I struggled with a semi hatred that questioned and envied the fact that he was tall, trim, handsome and the swagger of a 28 year old man!  Even after all these years of being a chef he was still trim! How’s that!! At that moment I felt like a Sea Lion!!!! But I reminded myself that my diet and my absolute refusal of dying of obese related diseases would come through for me and in that same moment I let my hatred turn to motivation…motivated to be like him!

Today’s demonstration was basically stocks. Brown and white types. The brown one was a veal one made from roasting some of its bones, hence the brownness. Then the stock was fumet passion…fish stock  that is (lemme go all lingo na!)

So, between the 3 hours of listening to French and English I learn how to make two stocks and a sole fish dish that was also demonstrated for the practical’s I had immediately after! The chef displayed aptness and sheer skill! He went about his work like it was his time off to have a smoke and drink some coffee!! He made it look so effortless and breezy and I kept on telling myself…”omo na so e dey bi…demonstration go look like beans for practical u go hear ween!!!” after the fish dish was done we gave our usual round of applause and all of us rushed in true paparazzi style to take pictures and rush for the tasting as weugh only young black people in secondary schools or recent graduates at NYSC camps that scramble for food…I was proven wrong today….that notwithstanding…there still a measure of class even in the way they rush!!!!! Seriously!!!

Since I was the kitchen assistant for the week, Kristen and I quickly change and head to the prep kitchen underground, we get our produce, place it in the lift and we are both up bound…

Getting to the class we start distributing the stuffs, Leonardo was there to help in my mind I was like ”uncle forward sha!”

Getting down to business my earlier conversation with myself was coming to pass. Filleting a sole fish is easy but tricky too!!! I mean if you know a sole fish…it's not a very large and fleshy fish so by the time the bones go you are hardly left with anything so to fillet and skin one is one tricky thing! My fillets were almost disappearing after my venture to skin them..the chef even gave me a “hmmm so good some bad look” but I was concentrating on two things…keeping my work place clean and Leonardo who was already cooking!!!!!!! “Who does this guy think he is sef!!!! Bloody guy” I thought silently to myself

Progressing with my dish with much briskness as I could possibly muster without cutting my fingers again coupled with trepidation to finish on time! I get through with my stock and start making my sauce whilst cleaning up at the same time!!!!!

At the end I finish just after Leonardo who finished first!!! I taste my reduced sauce..GOSH IT WAS SALTY!!! YEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!!! At that point I could do nothing but plate up…so I get my plate out cleaning out any marks extra viciously like it had chicken pox!

When my dish is ready, I motion and let the chef know I was ready for my taste test, I did an Oscar winning act of hiding my nerves “yeh!!!!!!!! The salt is going to pulverize his mouth!!!!” but my clam I revealed and my eyes followed his spoon he had dipped into my fish and sauce all the way up to his lips and at the point where he put it in his mouth and started chewing I could feel my heart throbbing a bit faster than normal. With a fixed expression he asks me…”hmm did you taste your sauce?” with a mixed tone that expressed half of my fake confidence and three-quarters of my nervousness I reply “yes chef…its salty right” with a wink and a smile  “hmmm you “ab to be careful wit ze salt uh? But apart from zat your sauce very good, ze fish a bit over cooked but good, but be more organized in your work pattezn..ok? ce bon”

PHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “ so was I awesome or not?” I wanted to ask but kept my mouth shut and started packing my knife kit and sorting out the leftover produce and cleaning the kitchen before I left.

Add chef Leo

On my way out of the lockers God spoke to me he said when he told me the battle was not to the swift he meant me and not Leonardo…”Ah!!!! Lord mo sorry” then I thought about it….

Wow!!!! I had started to beef Leonardo not because he was forward but because I was starting to hate the fact someone was actually the star and not me!

I realized that I was only recognizing his faults too satisfy my beef….hmmm I felt so Unchristian like eooo evil!!!! I repented and by repentance I literally repented!!!

On my way I out I saw him sitting in the garden chilling for his friends and at that point God was like “here’s your shot” at first I hesitated but then I almost felt God nudge me then I found myself asking him to come to where I was and I wanted to see him briefly, he stands up in a sharp way and motions towards me and I let it out

Gbubemi: Leonardo I want to tell you something (this I do with a humble tone)

Leonardo: oh thank you (with his soft spoken Brazilian accent)

Gbubemi: Honestly Leonardo I won’t lie I almost started to be jealous of your talent and skill but I'm a Christian and I choose to rejoice that you are good, I won’t lie it was hard to accept someone was better than me because this is my life as well. I have come here to learn and not be a champion and even if I have to learn from you, it’s still a learning process!

Leonardo: Oooo ohhh thank you thank you (with his palms crossed above each other coupled with a tone that was almost teary) this is my dream for seven years I have saved money to come here… my father gave me some money too…..oh I'm here to learn too…ah Boba (that’s what he calls me and I have settled for that) good of you ohh thank you

Gbubemi: yeah you are welcome and I just had to let that out and mock myself. Thank you. Ok now..Bye

Leonardo: okay Boba Thank you…See you tomorrow

On my walk to the bus stop….I could almost hear the hosts of heaven rejoicing that I had done such a noble and humble thing. I was full of smiles both inside-out. I felt like I killed Goliath! Hmmm… more important I learnt a valuable lesson

On my bus ride home there this man that looked like a progressing transsexual! Yuck!!!! He had a fringe, earrings and I think some growing boobs! Eeewwww!

As a student full time now the alluring melodies of crepe bars, gelato bars, panninis and all the endless assortment of great street food are now like nails scratching on a chalk board..why because like I explain earlier I shall not be broke!!!! My ears are developing deafness to the melodies, so are my eyes…all they see food I cannot afford then my mind doesn’t bother…hmmm

As dump all my stuff on my bed and settle in front of my house mate…my laptop…I escape to the world wide web to try and still be useful at least in my fagged out state.

But beyond my tiredness I love my life here and I'm eternally grateful

Bon Huit