Mourning into Dancing...Best Sunday Ever!!!!

APRIL 25, 2010

This post was really meant to be a near endless lament and thorough expression of my depression that was bordering on post natal! But God does really look out for He’s own and He is truly here with me and He does answer prayers! So yes I'm not only happy but highly elated!!!!!

So why was I depressed? And how did it all turn around?

And the story goes….

First let me say the situation even took me by surprise… so yeah…

Yesterday Saturday 24 April 2010, after nearly developing bed sores from tossing and turning on the same spot all day on my sofa bed…Glee re-watch after re-watch and How I Met Your Mother back to backs….I decide to go out as a retaliation to Kristen’s accusation that I don’t get out enough and really I was in need of fresh Air and some fun....so I decide at 6:17pm to get out….at least to Saint Michel or last last do what I said I would not do…Shop!….. at least H&M was on sale…so I get to Saint Michel and settle for fast food…let me first say that I don’t like the McDonalds here..its crap to me only their Rustic potatoes are great…However I settle for its rival “Quick” I order my Chicken wing meal and settle to down to eat….departing the doors of Quick…I couldn’t help but recap the vile moments I had with my meal…the Chicken wings were like brunt bits of chicken carcass that had been used to add flavour to a roast dish from school! The rustic potatoes were fried chunks of unbearable near-rotten potatoes…the barbeque sauce tasted like pirated ketchup! I mean how can u have bad BBQ sauce?! And what stung most…it cost me 7 Euros! (pls its big money to me! I bi student!) Nonsense! I should have gone to McD’s!

As I mangled through the alarming number of people that seemed to be on Saint Michel Boulevard…entering Delaveine for some comfort with actual intentions of picking something….I find that rags remained instead of actual stuff! Arrgh! Then I decide to go to H&M at least! So H&M tries a bit for me…. I get a pair of flat shoes that never seemed to be in my size so I find a pair…and my 10 Euros jumps out of my wallet and voila…I shopped…*sigh* but even my obtaining a brand new pair of shoes didn’t seem to lighten up my mood/morale….the it starts to build….the feeling of loneliness and disconnection! How can I Gbubemi Fregene not have friends! At this point I started to think about my life on a good day…I mean me in las Gidi on a Saturday….too many paroles! At least there would be one Uncle or Aunty’s house to crash….Or Sayo Oke would have made me drive to Lekki to do Driver work….or harassed Adeiye to go to the Movies…visited endless people or even just to chill with my grandparents at home!!! SOMETHING!!! Then this disconnection grew to a considerable state of acute depression! Yes depressed that I had no real friends…all my classmates where just nowhere to be found or we are not just on the same page somehow…Juan went to Switzerland, Inigo just didn’t feel like calling him (I don’t know why) Leonardo same thing…just felt really bad….even worse nobody seemed to be on Facebook or Skype!!!! Oh my was I about to lose my mind!

Even as this morning Sunrise announced a new day I still felt heavy….but I sort of was looking forward to Kristen Lunch date we had setup to make up for Friday’s no show…but that didn’t feel good enough…

So I attend first service at Fountain via webcast ()awesome word by the way Pastor Taiwo!)and set out for first service at Hillsong…during service it started again…I was just feeling so wrong…so not- among and it was hard for me I mean I get along with people easily now! But here nobody seemed to feel me…so through my glistening eyes I pray a simple but terribly honest prayer “Lord please I want to leave church happier than I came…prove your miracle power” without an Amen I join in the worship and settle down and listen to the Pastor…he preached a message I had heard so many times but since it was the Word of God it felt like brand new material! Gosh was it hot! So after church I linger in the foyer with my coffee in my hand and my thin patience for Gods miracle I had prayed for and when I was about to kick myself to the curb…..my miracle happens…a lady…Lea..says hi to me and I lament to her unashamedly about my issue….and she empathized with me and said she could relate because she had gone through the same phase and she looked for some chefs who attend church as well and introduced to me…. And in the light of giving people a chance I decide to say hi to Aaron’s crew who turned out to be going out for lunch/picnic so I join them meet Jon Lee who’s the pastry chef the lady found for me and it was an amazing time…we went to a garden park place ….it was picture perfect…manicured lawns, ponds with ducks, fish and beautiful birds in it…..yes..picture perfect….I mean we just chilled on the grass…laughed and ate…and I finally felt some warmth and belonging…*a million sighs of relief*

Then it got better…Kristen and I hook up…after I delayed her for like 10mins….we have lunch which she spoils me silly! Beef fillet @ 30 Euros! And Haggen Daaz for dessert….I was in heaven and she even gave me some Jeff De Burges Couture chocolates for standing me up….wow!!! (God does answer prayers)…we chat about life and all…it was a great time!
To think I depressed made me even laugh at myself…so I have decided to give it all time and no tbe selfish to want everything the way I want it! I have to deal with the fact I have no Nigerian people at my beck and call…and deal with the fact that even the dudus don’t speak English….

I would be fine…right?

As I beckon to wrap up its 11:39pm Paris time, 10:39 Nigerian time….I think I can watch something and go to bed and get up in time for my 8:30am demo class
It was great Skyping with Aunty Ronke, Tosin, Aunty Lola Kasunmu and all my lovely cousins!!! And also talking to Yetunde Fatunde my Head Girl after 6 years!!!!!!

To all my friends and family who are too many to name and count…I miss, value and cherish you all!!!! I see how we take things for granted…..like seeing each other hanging out and so on….
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!

A Bientot!