LE GRAND DEBUT

MARCH 22 2010…..LE GRAND DEBUT

As I type this I'm still torn between two wills.

The first is to curl up on my bed and sleep. The second is to write this and at least envisage me posting it tonite as well even if I don’t do it physically!

However, I'm genuinely tired… not that I had a helluva day at school but it was the events that followed after I think?…coupled with the fact I am mega hungry now and…in fact I have a third battle of the wills…I want to cook some pasta with my leftover sauce from Sunday as I have not eaten proper food today except cheese and baguette!( And blood oranges...) but I’m so tired… I'm sitting here… almost motionless*sigh*

I just finished labeling some of my things from school and mehn am I tired! Mehn do I miss my RIO!!! Pls Folashayo and Adeiye shey u feel me?! My pinky toe has developed yet another acutely excruciating blister!!! Which kain whahala bi dis! My right foot is sore as well and it’s so painful walking! And for this zones u no fit slow-walk at all o u go dey waka like say na Olympics!

(The above was being typed until my Skype pops up with my aunty Tosin calling me…a surge of energy somehow rushed through me! We talk for about 30mins and during that time I cooked my fantasy pasta that had a generous sprinkling of parsley and Good Lord was it DELICIOUS!!!)

The vibration from my BB did more than wake me up this morning…it reminded me that today was a day I couldn’t afford to be late!

Yes…today was my first day of school… on the surface...but at the root of my mind…today marked the beginning of the sprout/bud of a new phase of destiny for me.

Since my alarm went off at 6.00am I snooze it for a bit and sleep small…yes chefs need their rest! But at 6:20 I finally get up, staring back at my bed for a bit like it could do with some more lying down…but I motion further to allow my feet touch the floor so I could prise myself up…as I get on my feet I start worshipping……my my my! Early morning worship is sweet!

Like Pastor Tosin Sowemimo would put it…I officially prayerlize my year ahead! Anyway...details between Jesus and I!

After my good morning Jesus session…I move to get out all my documents I think I would probably use at school; so as taking out what I would wear…ok what am really saying is… I launch one plaid shirt I had been dying to wear out! Lol! After that’s done I glance at the time and see its 7:38am! Yeh!!! Sorry Ouussh!! I dart into the bathroom and like lighting I'm done bathing. The way I changed into my clothes mad Clark Kent look like a millipede! 8.00am I was out and for some strange reason I locked my door fast even if I still don’t know which key locks up or down instead I got it on the first tries.

Then the Parisian-walk begins...aka “the running walk” all the way to the Pantheon bus stop, however I stop to get a baguette because I didn’t have change to buy a one way ticket to school…as my week pass had expired! I choose a healthy variety with lots of seeds and natural stuff in it...and oh my was is hot and delicious! Exiting the shop, I also execute another Parisian tradition…”eating as you walk at 100km/h!” I briskly progress towards the Pantheon and when I have the Pantheon in view I steal a few moments to awe at the colossal splendor, when another structure shows up and seems to block my view too..in the middle of my awe and confusion… I realize its moving…”YEH THE BUS!!” omo I did the only logical thing…I RAN!!!! Paris tradition or not! Omo Bolt for fear sprinting na! Mehn! I sprint sote I fest the bus! LOL!!!

I dey wonder before “why dey dey sprint for dis place sef?”omo…I learn am today!

An out-of-breath-baguette-holding-me eventually gets on the bus and I'm Vaugirard bound. With my timer on I relax but simultaneously look out as well before I miss my stop. On the way I tried to think of what my first day would be like?

1. Would I make good friends today?

2. Would I find another at least African student? I trust that the possibility of me seeing another Nigerian was 0.1%...ok I'm being polite...0%!

3. Is my blood now rising? Is my heart rate any faster?

Then….nothing…really nothing….*sighs*.

My baguette starts to bore my taste buds at that point and actually started drying my mouth! So I put it away and down the bottle of water I had carried with me.

I get of my stop and start walking to school…I look at my watch and timer. The timer said 20 mins etc seconds..and the watch said 8:20am. At that point the following thoughts ran through my mind

1. “Guy now?!!! How faar?!! Which one u dey puma like this? School na 9:30am, u don land one hour before!”

2. “Omo na Covenant Univeristy blood o!

3. LWKMD! (Laff Wan Kill Me Die)

4. Hope say dey no go vex say I too early o! they do dey look me like I say my blood to dey hot?!

I put an end to all those thought when I realized I was in front of my school.

I entered with the pride and confidence of a prospective Prime Minister or the about-to- be-crowned Prince of Wales! I felt like this was the day I would be initiated to a fraternity or Knighted more like! On my inside I was probably dancing “Alanta” and doing the “Chicken Noodle Soup”…But my outward appearance played it cool…placing my phone on silent, I push the glass door and meet one of the ladies who hands me some forms and with her poor English jamming my poor French we figure out my name sha and By the way for my school I used my full name..ORITSEGBUBEMI…even some Nigerians I'm sure can’t pronounce that! (I now felt sorry for all these French, Japanese and all the endless nationalities that worked with the administration!) So she didn’t bother she just used my surname which was better for her and looked for my ID card; when she found it was missing my picture!

In my mind…

1. “hey…ermm auntie…hhmmm….if na play make e stop o!!! Na complete school fees I pay na! if na joke..make e stop o!”

2. “Ah! I sure say sen my pishur juoin na?”

But my mouth blurts out…”do you need me to give you a passport picture?” (with a tone that was filled half fear and half confidence) And she said I could do so. I whip out a passport from the stash I carry about, hand it to her and feel at ease!

I go to the winter garden and start filling out the survey and some other forms some old student s that passed me looked unhappy and unflustered…

I thought to myself “shet! That’s going to be me in a few months…yuck!”*sighs*

After I had finished, I was moved to the demonstration room where we were offered tea coffee and croissants and juice...omo I was shy at first to drink anything but oh well I gave in to coffee first with a croissant….the room started filling in small by small…people started trickling in bit by bit…I had met a guy named Antonio by the way…he’s Portugese but speaks fluent French as his mother is French..at that point he mentioned that I thought to myself “darn it! My wasn’t my mother French?!” oh well at 9:35am the room had considerably filled up…from Japan to Australia to Brazil and the Americans they came in..excpet any African... why was I getting my hopes high sef? Hmmm… Ifelt both bad and good… bad because every other person has someone from their place, why not me?...then good because I was the shining star for Nigeria and Africa!

The introduction was done in French first then translated in English…and everyone of us whether you understand French or not you look at the French woman talk whether you dey grab or not u go just dey look sha, the when the English own go land I go hear join! The intro went on for like an hour 20 mins during which we all introduced ourselves and where we were coming from and what we would be studying; we were about 50 of us and after which everybody “un-shyly clawed” at the croissants and drinks!

During the introduction, a guy in front of me mentioned he was from the Philippines and I cast my mind back to Edith my cousin’s nanny(…I became somewhat alert in my mind...”ooh…I know someone from your country you know”…like…like that made me his best pal now…mcheww was I thinking) then I noticed him heading for the orange juice and voraciously ripping the cap of the tetra pack and since I was heading for the juice too I wait behind him and introduce myself and we start talking…and gosh do I fall in love…(straight-chef-respect love o!)

1. He was 21..just a year younger..but what the hell!

2. He has been working professionally in a hotel in the Philippines since he was 19!

3. Hes been cooking un-professionally since 10!

4. He had visited all the Michelin Starred Restaurants in Paris and started saving money to go and eat there! I hadn’t even thought of that!!!

See why I love this guy already!!!! He’s my kind of guy!!!!!!

Did I mention also

1. AND HE IS DOING THE GRANDE DIPLOME!!!!!!! 50 TAAAASAAAN DOOLLLAAHHHSSSS! JUSSSTSS LYS DASTS! GOLSH!

2. YELSK!!! $50,000!!!

3. OMO U GO FEAR PASSION!

4. ME whey dey do cuisine diploma I know wetin I pay…ah! He is really styrings!!!!

So yes my first made friend…as time went on I met Leticia an Athenes girl, Kristen an elderly lady from the States, Jeff from Taiwan, Wiji from Taiwan as well and a Brazilian guy who I can’t remember his name now.

Then my blood really started to rise when we receive our uniforms…my my my my!!!!!

Strolling into the locker room…I had never been so excited about getting dressed…for the first time I didn’t care whether I didn’t have a six-pac or at least a flat stomach, or that my chest wasn’t like a NACK model’s own or that my love handles or lower belly fat was exposed!…I take of my clothes and Try on my uniforms…I was nervous also because I couldn’t remember the measurement I sent and was praying so hard that all this weight I had put on would not further embarrass me destroying my freshly mustered confidence in the process!!!!!!!

But to my comforting surprise… the chef jacket was 2 sizes bigger than me! It was like a canopy on me!!!

HUURRAAAYYY!!!!!! For the first time in Paris something was ACTUALLY BIGGER than me!!!! FELT LIKE I WAS A SIZE DOUBLE ZERO SEF! With all confidence I IMMEDIATELY complain it’s not my size, my size is guessed by the ladies and I get my fit for my top on the spot and I got the trousers later…

After our small break we have our first class…but it’s an introductory one..Briefing us on all the rules and regulation...omo some kain CU tins...if you are 10mins late forget class and if you’re absent more than 6 times…forget your exams!!

By 3:00pm I had finished my class and collected my uniforms and locked them away in my locker…then Leticia and I got chumsy and hooked up to go and get my security shoes…with all our excess baggage of knives and uniforms we waddle through the metro and finally arrive at the store and they had my size thankfully…then she went home and I went to H&M AND DELAVEINE to find some knock about shoes for evrydayin Paris…picked up a black pair of tennis shoes at H&M and started to head home…I do so by trying to look for a bus first...but it proved uneventful so without no other option; the train I board.

I get home and I'm soooooo tttiirreeeddd!!!!!!! I drop all my load on my bed and just sit and open my laptop to YouTube a bit….then start labeling all my stuff from school….

Tomorrow there no school so I'm free but still have few things to do…mail aunty Toyin, check out something for Taiye and Alero, open an account…abit sha…

Now I can go to bed with a oversize sense of purpose…school has started….ii ask God to bless and help finish and ave

To all my family…Grandpa…all those that called before and after, spent nights at my place, sent/gave money…LOVE U TO BITS!

Bon Nuit

March 21 2010...The Eve of School Resumption

March 21 2010

Between arranging my impulse bought items and the aromatic wisps of steam filling the air coming from the chicken I am boiling to add to the semi-stew I made this morning and American idol on YouTube…I finally settle down to write and post this tonight! As I was touched my a message today by some Bishop on Inspiration TV this morning “Delay Procrastination!” so in order to live up I promised myself I would write and post tonight…Evidently…promise fulfilled!

When my alarm went off this morning…tow things went on in my mind

1. Yippee!!! Time to watch service and see Fountain and Pastor!!!!

2. Seriously! Its 7:42 already?!!! Can U pls wait time? I wanna sleep small…prewwy pls?

However, with a cocktail of “a grudged will to rise up and a strong will to go to the house of the Lord” I hoist myself up and drag my freshly awakened system towards my laptop on the table, jab at my keyboard, navigate to church’s website and see that Pastor hasn’t started preaching yet, so I whisper some words of thanksgiving to God and get with cleaning my over priced cubicle called a studio flat!

But I do so with all sense of responsibility and some level of gladness in my heart (but not as enthusiastically as my grandmother who still believes you should bend down to mop floors and brush them too! If she sees me vacuuming I'm in whahala!) mid way through all this, Pastor eventually comes up but at this time I had started peeling potatoes and frying tomatoes onions and garlic I had chopped up earlier to make myself a copy cat of my Nigerian Sunday-Sunday Breakfast…Yam and Stew… so I decide to multitask…as service was going on I was cooking whilst listening to allow the Rhema to hit me like a bullet! Today Pastor preached about true Christianity and how God loves you just the way you are; he used the widow who didn’t have anything left and the prophet asked her to bring all she had and even borrow more vessels for God to use etc; he also made me realize I can only operate properly in grace by knowing that I was bought at a high price and the devil has no power over me if I am truly giving all to Him! Ok I seem to be preaching now abi…ok…but before I drop the Mic…lol! I also listened to Joel Osteen in between first and second service and boydid he hit the home run!!!!! He gave a profound Rhema on God being the God of Acceleration. The message was simple but mind-blowing! When God steps in what takes you 20 years normally to achieve God can get you there in 2 years! He now went on to describe the process of wine making and how it takes minimum of 3-5 years to plant harvest and bottle and that the more the wine is aged the better and that can take up to 20 years sef!...at this point I'm like WT! whats your point now?...then like a Cobra he strikes! “you see in the bible what was the first miracle Jesus performed? He turned water into wine” he said it with that is near commercial/voice over tone coupled with his almost permanent smile that looks like a campaign for Colgate! Lol! “what takes 5-20 years to do God can do in a minute with Water!!!!”

YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SPEAKING IN TOUGUESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR LIKE 10 MINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KAI! THE RHEMA ENTERED ME!!!!

OK…moving on…while my stew was bubbling away…I kept on feeling so insecure that there wasn’t enough pepper I it. So I constantly chopped more slices of Rodo inside and kept stirring…after throwing in maggi and some herbs, I place the lid and let it simmer gently. To my computer I turn to watch second service; the player refuses to play! “Ahan!!! Wich kain satan bi dis wan na!” I sliently think to myself… or “maybe I should call Dele in I.T at church and scream at him!” I sha use sense for the internet and refreshed a coupla times and volia! It worked!

Like I said I was mulit tasking… I was also reminding myself that after church I had to test run taking the bus to school as I found out I didn’t need the metro! There are two direct buses! 10misn away from me! And trust Oyibo! If the bus dey come in 2mins…true true two mins u go see am! Chai! If u like dey wait for BRT! U go wait sote!!!

Secondly I was also going to check out Chateau Rouge where the African Market was more on the behalf of Alero Danner, my cousin who has been in France for 6 months (she studied at a different culinary school but she specialized in pastry and sweets stuff she on a dreadful IT program she cant wait to get over with!) and has virtually lost her mind as she has not tasted Egusi, Efo RiRo, Eba, Yam and even just plain pepper! So she had begged me to buy her some stuff to make Egusi when she gets into Paris in April. She also added a warning that if I don’t do this it would bring family problem!

After service was over, I hoover my wanna be Persian Rug, tidy up all the undone work and venture to go take a bath then set out; well as usual the laptop silently lured me its keyboard! And to make matters worse Tayo Ola was online so was Tosin Oyewole! *sigh*

So chatting and surfing, with Israel Houghton’s “You’ve Won My Affection” playing in the background (AWESOME SONG BTW!!!!!! I HAVE IT ON REPEAT!!!) This goes on till about 12noon when I obey the procrastination message once again and say no to all this distraction! So I say an official bye-bye to my chatters and swiftly get into the bathroom and out too!

At 1:40 something or so, after finally finding what to wear and what I was taking out…I get to the bus stop and was just in time to catch the bus! Because the next one was due in maybe an hour’s time!!! So I keep my eyes glued to the top of the bus where the stops were listed coupled with looking at the area I was passing through so as to be sure I was on track! Simultaneously cross checking my trusty Map book!!!

The bus ride was roughly 20 mins, I arrive at Rue D’Alleray, I look at my map connect the dots and figure that I was maybe 200m from school. So briskly, I walk down, cross checking with my map at each intersection be it a parking lot sef! Was constant cross checking. All in the bid to not miss my way!

So, easily I figure the journey out and locate my school’s street and evidently my school!

I whip out my phone and see that the journey is really about 30-35mins this way. Yes I had my stopwatch watch running!

At the entrance o from I try to imagine what tomorrow would be like…

1. Would it be like my first day 100 level in CU?..nah definetly tucsher!!!

2. Would I be in awe?

3. Would I meet good people and possibly one I can share the flat at Convention I was eyeing?

At that point I decide that tomorrow can handle itself and God was in charge. So I think my dear Jesse Jags “wetin dey” was still playing so earphone plug into my ear and I trot to the metro and I'm Château Rouge bound!

After a rather fast 25min train ride…when the train doors prise apart one sniff of the air…I knew this wasn’t regular paris! Then my eyes confirmed the gut feeling in my stomach…they were black people everywhere!!!!

NOW I'M WRITING THIS IN CAPS SO U CAN READ MY DISCLAIMER!!!

I'M NOT PREDUJIUED TO BLACK PEOPLE! ONLY THE GHETTO IGNORANT ONES!!!!

With the clarification above I move on…

Now when I say black people…these where they type of people that were either soo black they looked like polish or they looked like Hajia Suliat! Was so tempted to speak the last Yoruba to so many of them but sadly strictly French! I started having mixed feelings even more when I came out of the station

Rising from the underground, my bladder reminds me sharply that it needed to be emptied! So I promise it that the first fast food restaurant I see I would go in and grant its wish! And like an answer to my bladder’s prayer KFC stands strong like a city in a hill that cannot be hidden. As I venture to access the entrance I notice how dense the ghetto presence was! From the women I their Ankara and coats, to the very black Hausa looking guys, the evident Muslim Alfas, the young men in their ghetto fashion and hood swagger, I knew I was in the hood! In that flash second I feel so insecure and my insecirty was heightened when I noticed that the only white people I saw were a desne collection of police men in their full regalia! I thought to myself “na so si place take ruff! Wey police dey stand for day break like dis?! Chei!” following that thought I first unconsciously then consciously hold tight to my bag! Then my BB!!!! And rush into KFC to use the Loo…when I enter KFC I think to myself…”hmm some measure of safety now” only for my reality to be buzzed by the sight of two huge and hefty body guards in suits!!!! Standing in the hall way and one in front of the toilet!!!!!!!! GOSH!!!! In that second I think my bladder empathized with me because all of a sudden my urge to piss seemed to have died! So I grudgingly make my way to the counter, I join the queue and swoop the area…GOSH all ghetto!!! Women with their kids eating like animals! Their makeup resembled something out of Dinosaur Age! In fact a lady in front of me was so ghetto her French sounded the same! She had on this cleavage boosting top with a net that revealed her more disgusting chest! Her hair was like an unkempt farmland! Let’s not even start with the nails! Anyways it’s my turn and I order a variety chicken meal, mercifully, the guy spoke some English so we Deejayed French and Anglais and my order came through. As I made my way to my table I won’t lie I did the following

1. I cursed in my mind…shit! 7 euros just to take a piss!!! Beacsue I dey fear this guys make dem no com bust my head say y I com piss for where I no chop!”

2. Stole a glance at the guards and wondered the damage they were possible off since they were hired to keep peace in this highly ghettorized hood!!!!

I find my way to a bar stool and start munching away at my fries when these two guys who were looking like some hustlers take a seat near me at that point I cling even closer to my bag and cross checking that my BB was in my inner pocket!!!!! I take my frist bite of my chicken! Mama mia! It was delixcious!!!! I devoured the chicken and unaplogetically the bones too! Na my 7 euros ke?! When all was said nad done I boldly make it to the toilet…on my way I had also calculated how I was going to buy hand sanitizer to wash my whole body after I use the toilet of this hood KFC..as I venture to enter, the guard hollers something in French…in my mind I'm like ”ah! Oga na mistake I come like dis na out I bin dey go I miss my way… no ves abeg…u no say I new for dis town” with all the beggary tones in the world! But I bustle up some boldness and ask in French and English “oh someone is in there?” “Yes someone in” he replies “good he speaks English phew!” entering the toilet eventually! My surprise had no rival as the place was spotless!!! It was so well designed even my toilet in Nigeria no fine rish am! It smelled of better perfume sef!

After my release of nature….I take the boldness a bit further and ask for directions to the market and the guy tells me that it’s just outside to my right! So I head out and what my eyes see made me start to miss home a bit.

There was yam, palm oil, rodo pepper, Egusi, dry fish pan nla, stock fish, garri, maggi, iru powder, Exeter corned beef, green leaf, okro, red onions, sweet potato, cocoyam, weavon Ankara, beans and so on…I was like mehn now were talking but then again that gut feeling returned…cos all I saw was stereotypes; Arab young men selling knock-off Louis bags, so were the black men, and even the African produce shops were run by mostly Chinese!!!! Only two stores had black people running it!! Then it started to hurt…..

1. Why are the blacks the relegated lot?

2. Why did I feel happy at one moment then sad the next? When all I could see was second class and even 10^th class citizenry!

3. Why didn’t I see someone dressed responsibly or even if they were trying to be fashionable at least look proper?

4. Isn’t it a pity I don’t feel safe amongst my own race? Gosh!!!

Swallowing a virtual anti depressant pill...i.e. me consciously blanking all this thoughts from my mind, I decide to tour the neighbourhood a bit. Stepping into a store called “CITY SHOP” which was supposed to be an innocent window shopping session turned out to be my justified impulse shopping spree! I'm saying justified because the items there where stuff I needed and there CHEAP!!! I got a Wok for 8 euros!!! Can you beat that! I got some bowls to pack food, a towel to dry my wash ups (as I don’t have space to allow anything air dry!) two fine plastic bowls (that I'm sure my mother would obtain me when she comes) for 1Euro! So yes I couldn’t resist but like I said justifiable shopping. I would have it for the rest of my stay here and beyond! My Wok by the way is pretty cool!!! Its big and all! Cant wait to make my first stir fry or fried rice!!!

After here I walk into one shop that smelled like expired incense and wanted to check for barbing kit but the smell anf items sold were so putrid and ritual worship like (even if they were crosses and so on in the shop!) I almost started having anti-peristalsis…my feet didn’t even wait for my signal they moved my out sharply!

Being a Sunday the nice shops were closed so I decide to go home.

On the train I change my mind to check out Delaveine or H&M for some cheap shoes I wanted to but for my everyday waka but they didn’t open so I finally decide to go home.

On the escalator out of my metro station, I decide to branch Marche Franprix to get some milk and detergent for the week ahead, after which I randomly opt to have a crepe (waste of money!) on my way home I notice that Faruk’s friend Byron is at the Bar…so I chill with him, relay my Chateau Rouge Experience as well and even 6 foot rugby player heavy built Bryon said “ah omo u try o! even me sef I dey fear rsih dai side!” wow!!!!

Of course have I a drink! Sprite and menthe syrup…. Mocktail tho…hmmm not to bad should buy my own stash and make my own at home….when the clock struck 7:30 I decide to head home and bid Byron goodbye and 3mins later I'm home.

The smell of my stew still hung in the air…hmmm….it felt like home now….

Dropping my shopping and bag and jacket on the sofa I change and start tying this but of course between Facebook, Skype and Yahoo messenger….and yes talking to Tope Akin-Olugbemi my long lost friend for an hour on Skype!!!! **to all the people I chatted with I love still o!**

So its 1:10am and Alero Danner has ordered me to go to bed! My first day of school is a few hours! We skype for a bit and I realy all my Chaetau rouge experience and shes ROTFLAMOing

As I put that thought to motion in my mind…I silently just commit it to God.

I now plan to reach for my bed pillow and fleece cover now to rest for the next few hours as the date “March 22^nd” that had first been what I saw on the Cordon bleu’s website, then on my admission paper, what looked like 3 months away, 4 weeks away, 12 days away is now about 7 hours away!!!! I bless God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To my family….”Grandpa” in particular…God bless y’all

Bon Nuit

Some PICS...PARIS AT NIGHT...MY SCHOOL ETC